January 5, 2011 Leave a comment
1] [pending]
2] “Complaints? We thought they were Compliments For Judicial Performance.”
3] “Chief Judge Kozinski would have to disqualify all district court judges in the circuit and there would be no one to defend your constitutional rights.”
4] “We’ve adopted Charlie Rich’s No One Knows What Goes On Behind Closed Doors as our official theme song.” Read more of this post
August 11, 2010 Leave a comment
Hebert
Towery
10] “This is the way we’ve always done things around here.”
9] “Who knows; if we rock the boat, we may find ourselves on the wrong end of discipline cases, like all those other guys.”
8] “Having to train State Bar lawyers and judges about the federal Consititution and civil rights laws would have a negative financial impact on the institution.”
7] “Hey, we’re on a roll – why stop now?”
6] “We’re hoping Howard Miller will let us be guests on his new t.v. reality show America’s Most Wanted State Bar Officials.”
5] “Our highly paid auditors in Sacramento have advised us such “decisive action” is unwarranted. Their recent studies reveal there is no bias or corruption in State Bar discipline proceedings.”*
*Note: Studies based on margin of error of plus or minus 0.5 percent.
March 14, 2010 Leave a comment
More Than He Bargained For
10] If corruption is eliminated from the State Bar agenda, he won’t have anything to editorialize about in The California Bar Journal.
9] The Board of Governors told him to wait until things really get bad at the State Bar.
8] “Attorney General Brown did some extensive legal research and concluded I don’t have jurisdiction.”
7] “It’s too damn far to drive from my office to Sheldon Sloan’s.”
6] There will be no one left to govern the association.
5] “I’m already working 16 hours a day typing all those new e-mail addresses into the State Bar membership records.”
4] He’s afraid Acting Chief Trial Counsel Russ Weiner will nail him for engaging in “acts of moral turpitude.”
3] He’s too busy making sure State Bar members don’t fudge about how many CLE tapes they listen to.
2] He decided to take his own advice, so he’s doing some pro bono work to see if he can spring Richard Fine [Free Richard Fine].
1] “Sheldon Sloan’s agent told me if I wait and can get named as a RICO defendant, I might get my own reality t.v. show.”
September 5, 2009 1 Comment
10] He’s afraid if he nails any Clinton lawyers, the “big shots” in the Democratic Party won’t let him wear a straw hat or wave a red balloon on stage at their next convention.
9] If any light is shined in on the State Bar’s disciplinary circus, Bar employees will mistake it for global warming and all drop dead of heart attacks.
8] Someone told him State Bar records are stored in a satellite high above California.
7] “It’s too damn far to walk from the BART station to State Bar Headquarters.”
6] The State of California will have to build 54 new prisons.
5] He’s too busy trying to work out a “cash for clunkers” deal on his old Plymouth.
4] He’s afraid the State Bar’s Office of Trial Counsel might decide to frame him too.
3] He’s too busy with his “really big cases” like his big Midas Muffler and U-Haul undercover stings.
2] State Bar President Howard Miller advised him to wait until things really get bad at the State Bar.
1] He’s afraid they’ll make him take the bar exam again.
